ellelan:
⤕ silverflint meme: 7 scenes – 3/7:
If you have something to add, you should just fucking say it. That’s not why you did it. Really? Would you like to tell me why I did it, then? Well, I wasn’t there, but, um, I’d hazard the guess that you learned of what had happened, told him how fucking stupid he was, and in that moment, he gave you a look that amounted to something less than contrite. And in that moment, you felt it. Felt what? Darkness. Hate. Showing indifference to the authority that you sacrificed so much to acquire, disdain for refusing to acknowledge that his actions, had you not intervened, would have led to an outcome that he would have held you responsible for reversing. Pride. Questioning what kind of man you are if you don’t seek retribution for the offense. So what are you saying? You saying I went too far with him? Maybe you went too far. Maybe you didn’t go far enough. Maybe you did it just right. The point is that while you were doing it, you heard a voice telling you that disciplining him would prevent him from repeating the offense, a voice that sounded like reason, and there was reason to it, as the most compelling lies are comprised almost entirely of the truth. But that’s what it does. Cloaks itself in whatever it must to move you to action. And the more you deny its presence, the more powerful it gets, and the more likely it is to consume you entirely without you ever even knowing it was there. Now, if you and I are to lead these men together, you must learn to know its presence well so that you may use it… Rather than it use you. You have some experience with this, I imagine, living in fear of such a thing within you? Yeah, I do. I can’t tell if this was a warning or a welcome. – Black Sails,309
Such a wonderful moment of self-awareness and open admission. Love and heartbreak at the same time, for both them and me.